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A fight with Myself| Payoshni Immadi

Trigger warning. When Anaïs Nin said, “Life is a full circle, widening until it joins the circle motions of the infinite.” I thought it wasn't meant in a literal sense, until today. when I kept running away from my past and hopelessly trying to trap it, in little things so I wouldn't face them, ever again, I guess I was mistaken back then because they pounced at me in the rawest forms possible. Chased me, while I stumbled and fell apart, barely catching for my breath while I was running away from my past, my traumas, my grief and they tossed me off balance back to square one, to face it. a challenge to look it in eye, a fight, I was never ready for rather running away from it. It was a battle with myself. I guess thats what Anaïs Nin meant by saying that, life is a full circle, it comes back at you to face it. to punch it in the eye till it's swollen, to shove it on the floor with jagged knees and hit it in the gut with bruised knuckles till it bleeds with broken bones, that you look at your past with swollen eyes. till you are dauntless You see in life there are no shortcuts or cheat codes if you did take any, it will knockout you back to square one again and again, till you face it with trembling knees and weak arms. life's a fair game, you need to go through it, you need to keep fighting, you need to fall back but not too far. till you face them, till you conquer them again and again, but not running away from them again and again. Be scared of what's ahead but be fearless enough to look them in the eye and face them.


Instagram handle : @payoshni

 
 
 
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